Vancouver, WA - Brian Martinek, the Vancouver Chief of Police, has announced that there will be a major press conference on Monday to review all evidence collected about the death of Matteo Buscetta three weeks ago.
Chief Martinek has assured the public that there are no zombies, the dead do not walk, and that the police have found no evidence of supernatural influence. Martinek is also known to have met several times with Bibzie Silvera, a Jamaican immigrant noted in the community for her occult practices.
Anonymous sources within the Chief's office indicated that the coroner's report will be made available to the press. The Chief Coroner has declined to comment on this story.
Vancouver, WA - Steve Spence and David Martin were conducting what they thought was routine research into the water quality of Vancouver Lake yesterday, but they were reported missing when they did not return to the dock last night.
The search for the missing men was called off shortly before midnight when the boat was found with the bodies of both scientists still aboard, torn and mutilated nearly beyond recognition. Police have declined to comment on the case.
A memorial will be held for the two men on Sunday at the Memorial Lutheran Church in Vancouver.
Camas, WA - The Organization for Paranormal Understanding and Support has announced a reward of $100,000 for anyone able to prove the existence of vampires. This reward is being offered as part of the publicity surrounding the opening of a new branch in Camas.
OPUS is a non-profit group dedicated to assisting those who have experienced what they believe to be paranormal activities or been victimized by zombies, vampires, werewolves, or other creatures of the night.
Organizers hope that by demonstrating the reality of supernatural creatures, they can increase public awareness and reduce the stigma attached to those who believe they have been victimized by such creatures.