MOB BOSS KILLED BY DEAD MEN

Saturday, June 24, 2006

Vancouver, WA - Alleged mob kingpin, Matteo Buscetta, was gunned down in broad daylight this afternoon by snipers firing from the roof of a nearby building. Most unusually, the snipers fired several shots each, striking Buscetta with over 40 rounds of ammunition, most after he had already fallen according to witnesss.

The assailants then, in apparently diregard for their own safety, advanced on the fallen body. Buscetta's bodyguards began to fire on the snipers in self defense, but they continued to advance and began to violate the corpse sexually until they finally succumbed to the hail of bullets directed at them.

Most curiously, witnesses describe the assailants as having the appearance of shambling corpses, exuding the stench of a dead corpse exposed to the hot sun for most of a day. Some witnesses report seeing gaping bullet wounds in some of the snipers' heads, with one sniper's eye allegedly dangling on his cheek.

The Clark County coroner has declined to comment on the time or cause of death for the four assailants. Vancouver and Washington State police have likewise declined to comment, but have been seen in the company of Bibzie Silvera, a Jamaican immigrant noted in the community for her occult practices.